Starry Starry Knight
by Infinity-R-Us
Summary: After Rodney McKay blew up 5/6 of a solar system, things were never the same again. So he left to work at Knight Industries. Warning; another Crack Fic ahead! And yes, we know there is some OOC, but it's still funny!
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: We do not own Stargate Atlantis or Knight Rider 2008. We dig the car, though._

_Author's note (from Meagra Solace): Everybody who plays in the SGA Fan Fiction, should write at least one 'Trinity' tale. Most 'Trinity' tales are full of angst. But as you know, the three of us don't do angst that well – at least not when we are together. So here is our version of how things could have been after 'Trinity,' without all the heart-stopping angst and suicide attempts. Beware, it's another crack-fic! Oh, and look out for the CPBs (Crazy Plot Bunnies)!_

_Oh, DPB and Meagra Solace had to bribe Hubby with chocolate mousse..._

_The Atlantis playlist:_

_Anything but Lonely: Andrew Lloyd Webber_

_The Last Words You Said: Sarah Brightman_

_Sounds of Silence: Simon and Garfunkel_

_Those were the Days: Mary Hopkin_

_Who wants to Live Forever: Queen/Sarah Brightman_

_Here with Me: Dido Armstrong_

_Total Eclipse of the Heart: Bonny Tyler_

_My Heart will go on: Celine Dion_

**Chapter 1**

_Dear Mer_

_It is with great regret and sadness that I have to inform you that my father and your uncle, Charles Graiman, has recently passed away. He was killed in an explosion, but the details are too long to go into it right now._

_The one positive thing that has come from this is that I am now in control of Knight Industries. FLAG is now a privately-owned company, of which I am the sole heir. Unfortunately we are now only four people at FLAG, and we feel the emptiness left by my father as a creator._

_Kitt sends his love. He misses you terribly. That time you spent with him was one of his most 'profitable' times. He claims you were the best. _

_Regards_

_Sara_

Rodney McKay put down the print-out; thinking. This past week had been of the longest and worst in his life. It had been seven days ago that he had had the little accident that had caused about five-sixths (hey, it's not an exact science) of a solar system to be destroyed. Ever since then, John and the rest of Atlantis had been treating him as if he was some kind of moron.

Yet the worst part was that John had told him that he did not trust him – Rodney – anymore. It felt as if he was outcast (more than usual) and it seemed as if he no longer had a place on Atlantis. Perhaps it was time for a change.

######

Zelenka frowned at his tablet, trying to solve the equation. He turned a corner to finally come to the main lab. Not even looking up from the tablet, he waved his hand over the crystals that opened the door. He waited the required two seconds for the doors to _whoosh_ open and stepped in.

_Bang!_ The pain in his nose made him see red for a moment or two. By the time he regained his vision, the door was nearly open, but still moving very slowly. He swore in Czech and readjusted his glasses. Carefully he entered the lab, frowning at the door. Then he frowned at the light: usually the lab was brightly lit, but today everything was muted. Great, what was wrong this time? He hoped it was not another glitch with the ZPM.

He put down his tablet and turned on the main console. But instead of the instant reaction he was used to, the console slowly blinked to life. Then it went out again. He mumbled a bit at it and it came on again – but slowly.

Just as he was about to access the program to the ZPM, something else happened...

######

Miko was late for her shift and Doctor McKay was probably going to scream at her.

She touched her hair to make sure it was secure in the pony tail and wiped her other over the door crystals. Yet instead of the soft _whoosh_ she had come to expect, the door slowly crawled open.

"Doctor McKay?" she called, but there was no answer. Slowly she stepped into the lab the moment the door was wide enough. She looked around and found Zelenka and two other scientists huddled in a corner of the room.

"Doctor Zelenka, what's wrong?" she cried. With wild eyes Zelenka looked at her and pointed at the ceiling.

"It never stops," the Czech scientist whispered. It was then that Miko realised there was music playing in the lab:

_Anything but lonely_

_Anything but empty rooms_

_There's so much in life to share_

_What's the sense when no-one else is there?_

_Anything but lonely_

_Anything but only me_

_Quiet is in too much space_

_That's the thing that's hard to face..._

Only those two verses played before starting all over again.

"The music, Doctor?" she asked, still not sure why the scientists looked the way they did.

Zelenka nodded. "Just those two verses, over and over and over."

Miko frowned, the mystery still unsolved. "Why don't you just leave?" she wanted to know.

"The door won't open," another scientist said, his eyes as wild as Zelenka's.

######

_I can barely get through the day_

_Ever since you went away_

_I can hear you whispering_

_In the silence of my room_

_My heart still surrenders _

_Like the sun to the moon_

_I can barely stand this aching_

_Burning endlessly_

'_Love me now, forever'_

_Were the last words you said to me._

As the song played out Weir considered the lyrics. Those were not really the last words Rodney had said before leaving, but it was close enough. Actually he had said: "I'll never forget Atlantis." She still wondered why McKay had not told anyone that he was leaving yesterday.

The song reset and Elisabeth sighed. She made a mark on the pad beside her, marking the seventeenth time the song has now played. Weir wondered how many times were yet to come.

Just then her door opened and Kate Heightmeyer entered. She grinned at Elisabeth.

"Well, this is much better than what the rest of us have," she said. Weir didn't even have to ask what the psychologist was talking about. Smiling faintly she got up and stepped outside of her office.

"Oh, just mark the pad there," she told Kate as "The Last Words You Said" restarted. Then she heard the song that haunted the rest of Atlantis:

_Hello darkness my old friend_

_I've come to talk to you again_

_Because a vision softly creeping_

_Left its seed as I was sleeping_

_And the vision that was planted in my brain_

_Still remains_

_Within the sounds of silence._

_In restless dreams we walked alone_

_Narrow streets of cobblestone_

_Beneath the halo of a streetlamp_

_I turned my collar tot he cold and damp_

_When my eyes were stabbed_

_By the flash of a neon light_

_That split the night_

_And touched the sound of silence._

_And in the naked light I saw_

_Ten thousand people, maybe more_

_People talking without speaking_

_People hearing without listening_

_People writing songs_

_That voices never share_

_And no-one dared disturb_

_The sound of silence..._

Elisabeth winced as she retreated into her office. Kate was right: her song was much better.

"We have to do something about this," Heightmeyer said as Weir sat down once more. "I had to prescribe a number of sedatives already today. People just can't stand it anymore."

Weir sighed. "Zelenka has tried, but he can't turn the music off. Besides, "Anything but Lonely" is on repeat in the lab. And only the first two verses at that."

It was Kate's turn to wince.

######

Carson Beckett softly hummed along with the song he knew by heart by now.

_Those were the days my friend_

_We thought they'd never end_

_We'd sing and dance_

_Forever and a day_

_We lived the life we choose_

_We'd fight and never loose_

_For we were young and sure to have out way_

It was a depressing song, but Carson liked it. Heightmeyer had reported on the state the main lab was in, and he was well aware that his song was a great improvement.

He heard a faint noise behind him, and already smiling, he turned around. It was only as he saw Major Lorne's face that he realised he was still humming.

"Can I help you," he asked the young man.

Lorne looked around, his face tortured. "I just came for some aspirin," he said. But without a second glance at Carson he turned on his heel and marched right out.

"I'm sorry, old boy," Carson called after him. He turned back to his work. From the corner of his eye he saw Doctor Biro frowning at him. "It's a bonny song," he told her as he resumed his work, humming.

######

No matter how far he ran or to what corner of Atlantis he retreated, somehow the song found him.

_There's no time for us_

_There's no place for us_

_What is this thing_

_That build our dreams_

_Yet slips away from us_

_Who wants to live forever_

_Who wants to live forever_

_Who?_

_There's no chance for us_

_It's all a serenade for us_

_This world_

_Has only one sweet moment _

_Set aside for us._

John was starting to think he was going to scream and all that would remain of him would be those tortured screams, echoing forever through the hallways of the city.

He knew the rest of the city was as bad off as him, but that did not help him. Three days now he has been hearing that song on endless repeat. He couldn't sleep and by now he had no appetite left. Kate Heightmeyer had given him something, but that turned out to be as useful as trying to run away from the song.

_Who wants to live forever_

_Who wants to live forever_

_Who?_

Well, he had to admit he was the only one with some variation: at least he got to listen to two different versions of the same song. Now, he could take the Queen version, but that woman..!

######

_I didn't hear you leave_

_I wonder how I'm still here_

_I don't want to move a thing_

_It might change my memory_

_Oh I am what I am_

_I'll do what I want_

_But I can't hide_

_I won't go_

_I won't sleep_

_I can't breathe_

_Until you're resting here with me_

_I won't leave_

_I can't hide_

_I cannot be_

_Until you're resting here with me..._

Teyla gently rocked back and forth, her hands over her ears.

"Make it stop, make it stop," she repeated. The song was driving her beyond madness, into a world of soft clouds and furry bunnies. And endless seas of blood. She only hoped the new pills Carson gave her to make her sleep worked...

######

All over the city marines are softly sneaking about and trying to find new hiding spaces. At least they had some warning whenever Ronon approached: he had his own theme song – a Sateydan version of hell:

_Turn around_

_Every now and then_

_I get a little bit lonely_

_And you never come around_

_Turn around_

_Every now and then_

_I get a little bit tired_

_Of listening to the sound of my tears._

Bonny Tyler had become the sound of approaching doom. Almost a week now it had been following Ronon, and the big man had snapped five days ago. Now he would shoot, hit, trample or flatten any marine he came across. Perhaps it was the old movie he had seen a while back, in which the one character had said: "Don't get mad, get even," that had given him the idea of getting even with all of them.

They had tried to find John Sheppard to make him make Ronon stop, but their commander was nowhere to be found. It was Cadman who had suggested that Jonh might be missing while outrunning his own demon song. So instead they might try a tranquiliser gun on Ronon for the time being.

That was why every marine was now roaming the corridors, either equipped with a tranquiliser gun or a Wraith stunner. Though in all honesty, every one hoped it was someone else that ran into the big Sateydan first.

Lorne – on the other hand – had already used the Wraith stunner on himself and was taken to the infirmary. He was the best off of all the people on Atlantis.

######

Although they were still haunted by various songs, only "Sounds of Silence" played in the meeting room. Gathered around the big table were Weir, Sheppard, a half-sedated Ronon, Carson, a wild-eyed Zelenka and a worried Heightmeyer. Teyla was in the infirmary under 24hour observation. Weir wasn't sure how she was going to tell the Athosians about their incapacitated leader.

"So, does anyone have any idea what's causing this?" Carson asked. He seemed the least affected of them all, something that worried Weir as much as Teyla. That just wasn't normal!

"I don't know, but we're going to start losing people if it doesn't stop soon," Kate said. It seemed as if Ronon agreed, but not for the reasons she had implied. She had heard the Sateydan had turned into a brutal savage these past days.

Weir sighed and looked at the scientist sitting next to her.

"Don't look at me!" he said, al little mad.

Weir sighed again. "Okay, I have an idea. I think it's Atlantis."

"Atlantis?" John asked, glancing over his shoulder as if something was chasing him.

"Yes. All of this started just after Rodney left. I think Atlantis is sulking."

John looked at her, incredulous. "Are you trying to tell me this is the sulking of a city?"

"I do believe so," Weir nodded.

John grimaced. "So you're telling us the city is like nothing as much as a 16 year old teenager? Teenage girl?"

Elisabeth nodded once more. "I think so."

Just then the music stopped. Everyone looked up, perhaps some thanking the heavens. But their relief was short lived, as the next song suddenly blasted over the speakers:

_Every night in my dreams_

_I see you, I feel you_

_That is how I know you go in_

_Far across the distance_

_And spaces between us_

_You have come to show you go on..._

John groaned. Ronon growled. Kate moaned and Zelenka actually started crying. By now Ronon had progressed to banging his head against the table. Only Carson looked fine.

Weir has had enough. Celine Dion was the last straw.

Slowly she pushed her laptop aside, stood up and went out. Without a word to Chuck she dialled the Stargate...

######

Walter called O'Neill over the intercom as he recognised the source of the unscheduled transmission: Atlantis.

When O'Neill entered the gateroom, Walter put the call through on the speaker-system. But instead of a person greeting them, the haunting tones of Celine Dion's "My Heart will go on" drifted through the room.

"Are you all right, Atlantis," O'Neill asked. The frazzled voice of Weir answered him.

"_Make it stop! Please, make it stop!"_

"Make what stop?" O'Neill asked, perplexed. And what was with the music?

"_The music. Bring us Rodney McKay. Now!"_

"Why?"

"_We don't care what it takes; just get him back!"_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Billy was having a great day. Ever since Knight Industries had left the government behind, there was nobody to constantly watch over his shoulder as he worked. His imagination now knew no boundaries.

Suddenly Sara Graiman appeared at his shoulder.

"Good news, guys. We've found a scientist to help out for a while," she informed Billy and Zoe.

"Oh, who?" Billy asked, excited. All of them missed Doctor Charles Graiman. The scientist and creator had been truely brilliant.

"My cousin, Meredith McKay had agreed to come and help out."

"Meredith?" he asked, eyes sparkling. "Is she hot?" he wanted to know. "Ow!" he continued as Zoe hit him on the back of his head. "What? I was only asking!"

Suddenly a new voice interrupted their conversation from behind. "I've been told I'm hot before, but never by another guy."

A cold, sinking feeling swept over Billy. Suddenly he knew just who Meredith McKay was. Slowly he turned around to look at the man hugging Sara.

"Oh, Mer, it's so good to see you!" the lovely woman was saying. Billy didn't care and he knew Zoe must be feeling the same dread. At school they had been warned, after all.

"Mer, meet the guys. This is Billy and Zoe. Mike and KITT aren't here right now." She smiled at Billy and Zoe. "Guys, this is my cousin, Mer McKay."

"Yes, but only Sara gets to call me that. You can call me Rodney," the other man smiled.

Billy held out his hand in greeting. "D...d...doctor Rodney McKay?" he stammered. He felt Zoe stiffen beside him.

"Yes," Rodney said as he shook the younger man's hand. Then he greeted Zoe.

Fortunately Sara dragged the Doctor away, intending to show him the rest of the facilities. Slowly Billy and Zoe sank into their seats again. Neither said a word. Rodney McKay had a fearsome reputation and Billy had actually attended one of the Doctor's lectures one day. The poor student who had asked McKay that question still had nightmares, the last he had heard!

Billy was having a bad day.

######

"I'm so sorry to hear about your father," Rodney told his cousin, awkwardly patting her on the shoulder. Sara smiled at him.

"So, where will you be staying?" she asked him. Rodney frowned. Had he said something wrong? Wasn't he allowed to talk about her dad? Really, sometimes he wished he was better with people.

"Well, where do you guys live?" He looked around. The facility seemed large enough to house the few people working on the project.

"We live here, in the pods," she replied. "Let me show you."

He tagged along as she showed him the set-up. It wasn't too big, but right now that wasn't his first consideration. "Is there a pod I can stay in?" he inquired.

"You want to stay here? In a pod,' she asked, incredulous. She looked at the small rooms. "We will pay for any accommodation you'd like."

"Well, right now I would actually like to be somewhere my former employers can't find me," he told her. He was still upset by how the Atlantis team – people he had considered friends – had treated him.

"Oh, okay," Sara said. "Where did you work?" she continued.

Rodney looked at the lovely woman. Actually, the last time he had seen her she had been an awkward teenager. "To tell you that you need at least level 6 military security clearance."

Sara frowned. "I didn't know the clearance went that high. So no, my clearance isn't that high."

"Then I really can't tell you," Rodney said. Yet a part of him wished he could tell her. Of all his family she would have been the one to appreciate it the most – or at all! She had not sold out to marry an English-major, after all.

Just as they returned to the main hangar, huge doors slid open and KITT rolled in. At the moment the vehicle was a sleek, black Mustang.

"KITT!" Rodney called, happy to see his friend.

"Doctor McKay," the cool voice of the car greeted him.

Rodney rushed over to the car, grabbing a laptop from a nearby counter. A Lorne-like young man stepped out of the car, but Rodney ignored him. All of his attention was on the piece of technological wonder. The car was made with nano-technology; something that Rodney now knew could be either friend or foe.

"Umm, Rodney," Sara said. Rodney looked up to see the young man holding out his hand. Quickly he shook it. "Rodney," Sara continued, "you remember Mike Traceur?"

Rodney looked at the young man. He really did resemble Lorne: that same blonde good looks, that same cocky military confidence. "Nope," he finally answered his cousin.

"But you've met him," she said, frowning. "Mike and I grew up together."

Again Rodney looked at the Lorne-clone called Mike. Come to think of it, what was Lorne's first name? "Umm, no. Did you write any scientific papers I might have read?"

Mike frowned. "No, I'm the driver."

"Huh? Oh."

Considering the conversation finished, he returned to his perusal of KITT. The car was already showing off his engine and fancy hood.

Sara sighed. "The same old Mer," she mumbled. She grinned at Mike. This was going to be an interesting adjustment.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Hermiod looked at Lindsey Novak with his unblinking black eyes. "No," he told her.

Lindsey's eyes filled with dread. She was truly stuck between a rock and a hard place: Caldwell had ordered them to land the _Daedalus_ on Atlantis, but Hermiod refused.

"But, why?" she asked the alien.

Hermiod did not answer, but instead pushed a single button. The sounds of Celine Dion – halfway through "My Heart will go on" filled the room. Seconds later Hermiod turned it off again. He looked at Lindsey again. "No."

Now Lindsey had the unfortunate task of informing Colonel Caldwell.

"Colonel, Hermiod refuses to take us down to the planet," she said over the intercom. Anxiously she awaited her commander's reply, seeing the way he could raise his eyebrows if he was annoyed.

"Repeat, Novak. Did you say Hermiod refuses to take us down?"

"Yes, sir," she nearly stammered. "He doesn't like Celine Dion."

"Celine Dion?"

"Yes. 'Sounds of Silence' has been replaced by 'My Heart will go on.'"

The com was silent for a long moment. Then the weary voice of Caldwell came back: "I would have thought they had fixed that problem by now."

"No sir," Lindsey hiccupped. But she must be honest; she was glad it was Hermiod that refused to land. She, too, could not imagine having to hear the same song – especially that song – repeatedly. The crew of the _Daedalus_ had thought "Sounds of Silence" was bad enough. That was why they had offered to do a complete inventory of the abandoned Wraith complex on the swamp planet HBB-UY2.

It was now Caldwell's task to speak to Atlantis. He wondered if there was any way to contact them without the risk of Celine Dion.

"Caldwell to Atlantis," he said as the lieutenant indicated the link has been established with the city. In return all he got from the planet was "My Heart will go on," freshly started.

"Respond, Atlantis!" This discussion had better be quick, he thought to himself.

Finally a voice answered – but it was so distorted that he hardly recognised it as Doctor Weir.

"Where the hell have you been!" she demanded.

"Doctor?" he asked. But he was not as perplexed by her tone as he pretended.

"Where have you been! We need to get back to Earth: right now!" she replied. Was it just his imagination, or did the music suddenly seem louder?

"Why do you need to return to earth?" Although he just might guess at the answer.

"We need to get Rodney McKay back. And yes, the SGC has approved it!" Weir sounded very stressed.

"Okay. Get a team ready, and we'll beam you up," he told her. "Hermiod refuses to land," he added to waylay any further questions. Then he nodded at the lieutenant and the link was severed. Wonderful, soothing silence filled the bridge.

######

"Sorry, Major. You're out of luck."

"But sir, you will need my skills!"

"And what skills would that be?"

"Um," Lorne began, suddenly in muddy waters. He looked desperately at his commanding officer, who was smiling just the teensiest bit. The tiny smug grin seemed as cruel as the craziest scientist-in-a-tower-with-lots-of-lightning's evil laugh.

"Exactly," John Sheppard said. "And that's why you are staying here! Besides," he continued, desperately trying not to let his elation at an off-world mission show, "you are my second in command! We can't both leave."

Just then two marines entered. One was carrying a chair, the other lots of duct-tape. Lorne's eyes widened in disbelief. "You're not serious!" he shrieked.

"Look, it's just for a couple of months. We'll be back as soon as we can convince McKay to come back to the Pegasus Galaxy." The marines sat Lorne down and started to tie him to the chair. Lorne wondered how John had heard about his plans – along with SGA-2 – to stowaway on the _Daedalus_. Then he suddenly wondered if John was telling him not to worry because he was being left behind, or because they plan to leave him tied to the chair for that time.

Seconds later John vanished in the light of the transport-beam. Lorne had been abandoned.

######

_Three weeks later..._

John, Ronon and Teyla looked around at the idyllic beach. They had been told they would find Rodney here with a kid named Billy. The kid with the laptop on the beach would probably be him, John grinned as they neared the spot where Billy sat.

"Isn't that Doctor McKay," Teyla suddenly said, slightly pointing towards a man and a cute Asian girl jogging along the water-line.

Ronon grinned that half-grin he reserved for insulting McKay. "McKay doesn't jog," he smirked. John had to agree.

"Especially not with such a sexy woman," he added. By now they had reached the young man. He had stood up and smiled at them.

"Hello. You must be the people Sara had warned me were coming," he said. "Hey, I'm Billy Morgan." As he shook hands he was introduced to the Atlantis team. The poor kid seemed fine until Ronon glared at him. But then, Ronon had that effect on most people – except Weir. She simply raised a single eyebrow and looked at him until he capitulated.

Billy turned to John, ignoring Ronon as best he could. "Doctor McKay and Zoe will be back soon. They're just finishing their run."

The three Atlanteans turned around and looked at the couple further down the beach. Even though they had the evidence in front of their eyes, John still needed to say: "McKay doesn't jog."

"No, Doctor McKay jogs three times a week," Billy informed them.

Still staring at something their minds refused to believe, Teyla asked the confused young man: "Are you sure it's Rodney McKay you're talking about?"

Billy frowned. "Yes. Doctor McKay once said he had come into the habit of jogging because he used to run for his life at least three times a week. Oh," Billy added, "he also mumbled something about the ghost ships being big."

John finally looked at the man. "Ghost ships?"

"Yes. Although he called them wraiths," Billy frowned. "I guess that's some secret password or something. I really wish I knew what he had done for a living before. It sounded like fun."

"Yeah, fun," the big Sateydan drawled.

Just then Rodney and the woman called Zoe jogged up to them. Rodney was looking down as he jogged, but suddenly he looked up and spotted SGA-1. The scientist stopped in his tracks.

"Oh, great, what are you doing here?' he asked with a frown, waving his hand in their direction – almost as if the heavens owed him an explanation.

"It's good to see you too, McKay," John said sarcastically. Teyla winced. Yip, that was really going to help convince Rodney, she thought.

"No, really," Rodney said, folding his arms and standing on his heels and lifting his chin, "how did you find me?"

"Well," John explained. "Doctor Faye told Doctor Lee who told Colonel Carter who told us you actually gave a minion a compliment."

"Faye? I don't know a Faye."

"Yes. Apparently a friend of Faye told him he knew of a friend who had told him about it."

Next to John Billy slowly started to inch away and Sheppard suddenly knew who the minion was.

Rodney suddenly glared at Billy, pointing a finger. "It was you, wasn't it? That's why you have been so smug lately!" He glared at the frightened man. "That's the last time I compliment anybody!"

John decided it was time to do what they have come to do. "Okay, McKay, holiday is up. Time to get back to work." Teyla groaned softly, knowing they would never convince the scientist after that comment!

"No," Rodney simply said, folding his arms again.

John smiled at Zoe. "Can't you help convince him?" he asked her.

"Hey, don't you Kirk her!" Rodney growled, waving a pointed finger at John and Zoe.

"Please, Doctor McKay," Teyla tried. "We really need you."

"No. You've had your chance," Rodney replied.

"Aw, McKay," Ronon grinned. "I think even the city needs you."

"No. Now go away." And with that Rodney turned around and jogged to the nicest car John had seen in a very long time. But was it just his imagination, or was the car glaring at them?


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Weir was not pleased. In front of her stood the incomplete SGA-1, looking like naughty schoolchildren caught with their hands in the cookie-jar. She really should have known better than to entrust such a delicate mission to John Sheppard. He was a good military commander, but a really crappy diplomat.

"So," she asked them, "would you care to explain again just exactly who thought ordering McKay was a good idea?" The idea of returning to Atlantis and Celine Dion made her next words sharper than she intended: "Really, John, haven't you learned anything these past couple of years."

"Hey," he answered, suddenly difficult, "it wasn't me who shouted at McKay that the whole Atlantis could hear it!"

Before Weir could answer the Colonel, Teyla interrupted them with her soft voice.

"Now, we all hate the idea of failure. But arguing among ourselves will not solve anything."

Weir sighed, taking control of her emotions. "Okay," she finally said, "I will go down myself and talk to him." She glared at John. "And you're staying here!" she informed him.

Minutes later Elisabeth stood in the Knight Industries hangar where the _Daedalus_ had beamed her.

"Hello," she called. Nobody answered. She walked deeper into the building. The first thing she noticed was a sleek black car, suspended in some kind of cage. "Hello," she repeated.

As she drew near she saw a pair of feet sticking out from under the car. Carefully she bent down to peer at the person. It was Rodney. Obviously he hadn't heard her because of the i-pod he was listening to.

"McKay!" she said loudly – she never screamed. Well, except for that time McKay blew up that solar system, that is.

McKay had heard her and bumped his head with fright. She backed away and he rolled out from under the car.

"Great, what do you want?" he grumbled. He turned his back on her and picked up his laptop. Before she could even utter a single word McKay had crawled into the front seat of the car and closed the door on her. Through the door she saw him working on his laptop, completely ignoring her.

"Rodney!" she tried talking through the door. "Please, we need to talk!"

"No!" came the muffled reply. "Go away. I've got nothing to say to you!"

"It appears Doctor McKay doesn't want to talk to you," a cool, dry voice informed her. She spun around, expecting someone behind her. But it was still only her and Rodney in the building.

"Who said that?" she asked out loud.

"I did," said the mellow voice. She turned back to where it sounded the voice came from. But it was still only her and McKay. And the car. No, it couldn't have been!

"KITT, don't talk to backstabbing traitors," McKay said to whoever it was that had spoken.

"I am sure Doctor Weir never intentionally stabbed you in the back," the voice replied, and by now it dawned on Elisabeth who the other speaker was.

"Holy crap! It's the car talking, isn't it?" she said, totally perplexed.

"Give the woman a medal," Rodney sneered. He still hasn't looked up from what he was doing on his laptop.

"McKay, please," Weir said the moment she was in control of herself again. "We need you. Atlantis needs you. Really, believe me, she does!"

"No." Rodney sank down deeper into the seat. "You've had your chance."

"Rodney, I know we've acted like jerks. We're sorry."

"Oh, you're sorry, are you?" Rodney refused to look up. "Are you sorry _I_ left, or are you sorry your best scientist left?"

Weir could feel her temper rising, but she had been in worse situations before and negotiated her way out of it.

"Rodney, please. You are our friend!"

"Friend? Friends don't treat other friends like that! They don't hold one itsy-bitsy mistake against them for weeks!" Rodney was on a roll now. "Friends forgive friends. Friends trust friends and don't make them work to win their trust back. Friends accept apologies!"

Weir gritted her teeth, aware this was not going as well as she had planned. "McKay..." she tried. But the only thing Rodney did was plug his playlist into the car and turn up the volume. "Nessun Dorma" of Sarah Brightman filled the hangar. Great, Weir thought, so that's where Atlantis got her taste in music. They should have known!

And the car didn't help, either. She knew McKay hadn't touched anything, so it had to be the car that caused its windows to darken until she could not see McKay anymore. Then the car spoke.

"Doctor Weir, I do believe Doctor McKay doesn't want to talk to you right now. Please leave."

"Rodney!" she nearly yelled. But the volume was turned up until it was unbearable.

She felt her self-control snap as her blood pressure rose. Fine! If that's the way he wanted it, she's quite willing to play dirty, as well.

She tapped her earpiece. "Weir to _Daedalus_, I'm ready to return now."

######

As she entered the bridge she noticed SGA-1 sitting to one side, looking a bit smug. Well, actually, John looked smug, Teyla looked like she was trying not to look smug and Ronon was grinning that infuriating Ronon-grin.

"I thought you were bringing McKay with you," John said.

"Colonel, I'm sure Doctor Weir did her best," Teyla added to the pot.

Elisabeth ignored them and turned to Caldwell. "Beam him up here!" She turned to the Atlantis team and grinned. "Beaming technology: because sometimes diplomacy fails."

Caldwell never grinned, so with his normal frown he said: "Caldwell to Novak. Please ask Hermiod to beam Doctor McKay to the bridge."

"Yes sir," the timid woman replied.

Anxiously the people on the bridge waited. And waited. And waited. After a few minutes Novak's timid voice came back to them:

"Colonel, Hermiod says he can't get a lock on Doctor McKay. Something on the planet is interfering with the signal."

"I bet it's that damn car," Weir nearly growled. Only years of experience kept her from grinding her teeth together.

"Car? What car?" Caldwell asked.

Weir sighed. How to explain? But then again, these were people who daily dealt with Stargates, semi-sentient cities and life-sucking aliens. If anyone was to believe her, it would be them.

"There is a car with a kind of AI with Rodney. Actually, he's hiding in the car right now."

"Can't you cut through the interference?" Caldwell asked into his earpiece.

"No sir," Novak answered.

Ronon suddenly stood up. "Why not just beam the whole car up here?"

"The bridge is too small," Caldwell said, but Weir could see the answer dawning on the bald man the moment the words left his mouth. But Ronon took the opportunity to make Caldwell's life just that litte bit worse:

"You've got cargo-holds, don't you?"

Caldwell ignored him and simply told Novak to ask Hermiod to beam the car to cargo-hold 1. Ronon looked at John, who looked at Teyla. Seconds later the three of them were running down the corridor. Weir followed shortly on their heels.

By the time the four of them got to the cargo-hold, the black car was already parked right in the middle of it. From it Rodney's voice came; complaining.

"Now _this_ is not playing fair!"

"Doctor McKay," the car answered, "you _did_ ignore the lady." A moment or two passed. "Doctor, according to my sensors we're no longer on the planet."

"Of course not," Rodney grumbled. "This is apparently what friends do."

Just then Caldwell entered the room. Stately he walked over to the car and looked at it. "Welcome to the _Daedalus_," he said. Then he grinned a little. "Please fasten your seatbelts and prepare to leave for the Pegasus Galaxy." He tapped his ear. "Novak, please ask Hermiod to jump to hyper-space."

Then the Colonel turned around and walked out, back to the bridge. Ronon was grinning from ear to ear. "So he does have a sense of humor, after all," he smiled.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

They had a problem: it has now been 7 hours and Rodney was still in the car. The scientist just refused to open the door, and no manner of pleading with KITT from those on the ship would budge it, either. As far as the car was concerned, Rodney would get out the moment Rodney wanted to.

Ronon leaned over the car, lightly tapping the dark window on the driver's side. "You think he can see us from in there?" he asked.

Rodney's muffled – but very agitated voice – came from inside the car. "Don't you touch the car, you oversized Neanderthal!"

"Okay, that's it," Ronon said as he stood back and pulled his gun.

But the moment Ronon's gun cleared its holster, two compartments in the car's hood slid open and huge machine guns pointed at Ronon. The Sateyden slowly put his gun back and took a few steps back. "Okay, so you have some guns as well," he said in his nicest voice. If KITT could glare he would have.

From the inside of the car came the sound of Rodney's soft chuckling.

"Any other ideas, people?" Weir asked. All of them were getting tired of waiting for McKay to show.

Suddenly John grinned. "I've got an idea," he said. Quickly he explained it to them, and the only comment Weir had was: "That's cruel. But it might just work!"

So it came to be that the entire SGA-crew, as well as a number of _Deadalus_ crew, gathered in the cargo-hold a few minutes later. Every one of them had a steaming mug of coffee and a chocolate-glazed donut. A number of the crew had almost magically produced chairs for everyone, and in one corner someone was setting up a table full of snacks. If the scientist won't come out of his fortress, perhaps they can entice him out.

"Hmm, hey, isn't this Tim Horton's special Jamaican blend?" John asked loud enough for Rodney to hear inside KITT. Everyone knew it was the scientist's all-time favourite. John could feel his friend's glare on the back of his neck; even through the tinted window of the car. He could just imagine Rodney drooling in there.

In less than 10minutes the driver's side door opened and Rodney stepped out. He stormed over to John and took both the mug of coffee as well as the donut from him. Within seconds both coffee and donut were gone. Still glaring at Sheppard, Rodney handed him the empty mug.

"You burned the coffee," he told John.

"Sorry, buddy," John said. Was it just his imagination or did Rodney look almost ready to forgive him?

"You do know this is kidnapping!" Rodney then dashed John's hopes. "And do you have any idea what Sara is going to say when she finds out you've stolen KITT?" Then Rodney smirked. "I guess I'll leave telling her about it and explaining to you!"

John frowned. Then he smiled tentatively. "Would you trust me with that?"

Without a word Rodney turned around to the car. Everyone took a step forward, afraid he would return to his hiding place. But all he did was reach in and take out his laptop. As he straightened he was smiling. "I guess you'll have to earn my trust again."

And suddenly everything was right between them again. Weir rolled her eyes. Men!

Rodney turned to Weir. "So, Elisabeth, is that feast for me?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Rodney looked around. He looked at the ceiling and he looked at the floor. Then he listened. Nothing.

Rodney, John, Weir, Teyla and Ronon had just materialised in the gateroom of Atlantis. From what his four kidnappers – as he liked to think of them – had told him, Rodney had expected a very different Atlantis. But aside from the fact that the city was nearly deserted, everything else seemed fine. The lights were on full strength, everything seemed to be working and there was definitely no music playing: either Celine Dion or otherwise.

Suddenly something flew down the gateroom stairs and grabbed Rodney in a bear-hug. He recognised the being as fellow-Canadian Chuck.

"Doctor McKay, you're back!" the man sobbed. Rodney didn't even want to know.

"Please, get him off!" he gritted through his teeth. It took the combined efforts of Ronon and John to disentangle Chuck. As he was led away, the young Canadian kept repeating: "He's back, he's back!"

It was Doctor Beckett who finally came down the stairs at a sedate pace to greet them.

"Where is everyone?" Elisabeth wanted to know.

"Everybody is on the mainland at the Athosian settlement. After we had to peel Major Lorne from the ceiling, Kate and I decided it would be best if we evacuated to the mainland. Aside from me, there are only three other people here. But they are on a six hour rotation with other volunteers."

"Volunteers?" John asked.

"Yes. Major Lorne volunteered them." Carson looked around. "It was getting lonely up here, you know." Then he greeted Rodney with a swift Scottish hug. "Welcome back, you bloody bugger. Next time at least tell us when you're leaving!"

Rodney grinned. "So, when are the rest of the people returning?"

Carson coughed; embarrassed. "I've already told them they can come back, but they wouldn't believe me!" Then the Doctor looked behind Rodney and grinned. "Great car. But how are you going to get it out of the gateroom?"

######

Sara sighed. She was very worried: KITT has been moping for weeks now. In lieu of what had happened, Rodney had explained about the spaceship, Atlantis and that they had 'borrowed' Rodney and KITT, and that Rodney had decided to remain with his former employers.

But apparently KITT had found another AI in the Pegasus Galaxy. On their very first day there the car had discovered that the city, Atlantis, was semi-sentient. Just like him. And KITT had fallen in love. It appears it had a thing for older women.

Zoe and Billy had done everything they could think of to try and distract the car, but KITT refused. The worst part was that it now had "My Heart will go on" on continuous repeat on its systems. _Nobody_ wanted to drive KITT anymore.

"Sara!" Zoe called from her computer. "Come and see this!"

Eagerly Sara went over to the young woman. "What is it?"

"I think KITT got a letter from the Pegasus Galaxy," Zoe answered. On her screen was a message alert, encoded with the SGC-emblem. "It's addressed to KITT."

"Well, relay it!" Sara said.

Moments later the music faded. KITT said: "Sara, I am fine now. Would you like to go for a ride?"

Sara frowned. What now?

Then Zoe whispered: "It's a letter from Atlantis. She told him she would never forget him."

######

Rodney looked around. He was back in his lab, surrounded by his minions. Yet he was sure something was missing. He just couldn't put his finger on what it was...

...In a small room somewhere in the bowels of Atlantis a voice was weakly calling: "Help me!" Bruised and battered fists banged on the locked door. Slowly Peter Kavanagh was going insane. The city had transported him here and locked the door. For months now the city had been keeping him alive while playing "Love Changes Everything" of Andrew Lloyd Webber.

_Love, love changes everything_

_Hands and faces, earth and sky_

_Love, love changes everything_

_How you live and how you die_

_Love can make a summer fly_

_Or a night seem like a lifetime_

_Yes love, love changes everything_

_Now I tremble at your name_

_Nothing in the world will ever be the same._

Kavanagh _hated_ Andrew Lloyd Webber!

**The End**

_Authors' note: We know we've not been very nice about the songs played by Atlantis. We thought it prudent then to just let you know we really like Andrew Lloyd Webber, Sarah Brightman, Simon and Garfunkel, Dido, Mary Hopkin, Queen and Bonny Tyler. We're on the fence about Celine Dion, though. Till next time._

_To insanity, and beyond!_


End file.
